snowday

This is what my back yard looks like today. I am enjoying the day off with the little man.  It's a bonus day as I like to call it.  Extra time with that little one means so much.  The only thing that could have made it any better is if my husband was home with us.  We missed him today!

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Lia Rose

Today marks two years since we lost Lia. The past two years have been filled with ups and downs, a roller coaster of emotions and feelings for sure.

I am blessed with so many wonderful things in my life. I am at peace with what I went through. I always will have a deep sadness in my heart about it, but I am still at peace with it. She is integrated into our lives in the least expected ways. I know I carry her with me always.

I love you baby girl and you are missed.

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My one word for 2011

I've been seeing so much about choosing a word for the year.  I have tossed it around in my head and I think my word needs to be INSPIRE.  I want to be inspired and would love to inspire people.  I will see how this unfolds for the year.   I will do my best to focus on this word and hope that I will be inspired and be able to inspire others. 

I am hopeful for one of the best years yet.  After the ups and downs of the past two years, I need a great one!  Here's to 2011!!!

Time away, for a few reasons...

The holidays have had me very busy and a cold, a horrible one, the week before didn't help.  I was feeling run down and needed a break.  I am feeling better, still exhausted, but that is how the holidays always work.  It was a fantastic Christmas.  We had a blast with JP even though he really didn't know what was going on.  I received some very thoughtful gifts and so much appreciate them.  I saw family and friends from near and far and my house feels like it has been a revolving door of people in and out.  It has been great but tiring.  It has also been a good diversion as this time of year is bittersweet for me.  I think that is why I am finding the need to write.

Today marks two years from the doctor's appointment that may have altered my life completely.  Today was the day that I went to the doctor at 17.5 weeks pregnant and was told by the doctor that was in that day that I was fine, round ligament pain was causing my discomfort.  I was naive, I left the office saying, this is normal, no sonogram to check anything out.  I know better now, I know to trust my instincts.  Two days later I was admitted into the hospital because of a degenerating fibroid that caused the loss of Lia Rose.  I picture her in my mind growing up as I watch my friends daughters who would be so close to her age.  It is hard, but she sent the most perfect little boy for us.  He would not be here if she was and now I cannot imagine life without him.

This Christmas I was able to put her ornament on the tree along with his.  I have a pregnant bear ornament that I received as a gift the Christmas I was pregnant with her.  It upset me too much last year to put it up, but this year, I took it out and wrote her name and birthday on the back and hung it right in front of the tree.  It is another step.  Then I thought about the fact that I don't have one for JP and realized that I was glad, it is something I have just for her.  He will have many more ornaments to come, but that one, is hers.

Black and White

Scavenger Hunt Sunday

It's that time again!  Ashley Sisk from Ramblings and Photos does a scavenger hunt each week and it is so much fun to participate.  It's always great to see the different interpretations of the photo prompts.  I hope you enjoy my photos.

1. Black & White

 

 He wasn't quite sure of what to make of the drum stick.  We just had to do it.

2.  I ate this

 My husband makes the most delicious popcorn with sage brown butter and seasoned salt.  Yum!

3. Historic

 This is from my archive.  It is a picture of the light house at Montauk Point.  It could actually work for 

The End as well as that is what we call it, but I have a different picture for that.

4.  Off Center

5.  The End

 This is THE END of my day.  I had some other ideas for the end, but none of them came to fruition.  That's ok though, I'll keep them tucked inside my head until they do.

So blessed

I didn't have the opportunity yesterday to post about all the thankfulness that I have.  I don't think that thankful really cuts it at this point.  My husband and I haven't had the easiest two two years, there have been a lot of ups and downs.  For a while it was mostly downs that just seemed to keep coming at as.  I am thankful that through it all we were able to support one another and grow into our new perspective.  I am thankful that two years ago (almost)  I was able to hold a perfect little angel who opened up our hearts more than we knew they could be opened.  She left us raw and exposed and cracked our hearts opened in a way that I really can't explain.  I am so thankful for the little guy in our lives right now who, cracked us opened even more.  I am thankful for his health and his happiness his smiles and his laughter.  I am thankful that I am seeing the world through his eyes everyday.  I am thankful for my husband who is my rock.  He is truly amazing, always there to help me with whatever I need, even when it means putting his own things aside.  I am often blown away by how thoughtful and perceptive he is.  I think our little one may be following in his daddy's footsteps.  I am thankful for my parents who watch my little guy everyday while I go to work.  I know that he is getting the best care aside from us watching him.  I am also thankful for fantastic friends who have been there for us when we've needed them.  All in all, although the past two years have been tough, I am so grateful to have what I do right now.